


Twas The Night Before Advent

by Kalloway



Category: Unspecified Fandom
Genre: Parody, Poetry, Pre-Advent Children (Compilation of FFVII)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22027591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalloway/pseuds/Kalloway
Summary: A parody poem celebrating the release of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.(Set in the Villa Welc0me universe.)
Collections: The Lemonade Cafe





	Twas The Night Before Advent

**Author's Note:**

> "Written on the eve before the release of AC, finally, in North America. Set in the Villa Welc0me universe. It's... ridiculous and silly and lol."

Twas the night before Advent and all thru Vee-Dub

The natives were restless and mocking the sub.

Riku and Sora did nothing but stare

As Denzel and Roxas braided Kuja's hair...

Miss Sprink Sprik was fiddling with Dreamcasts and cords

While waiting for visions of bishies with swords.

And Kalli with Ansems, varied and nude

Kept snickering at Reno's innuendo with Rude.

When out on the lawn there arose a grand rumble

of engines and yelling and all of it jumbled.

Away to the windows they all made their way

To yell into the night that these bastards would pay.

But the moon on their hair like shimmering snow

Made them all suck in breath at the beauty below.

Yes, what to their wondering eyes did appear

But three sexy shinentai all applicably queer.

With a little lithe leader, so vicious yet sad

Kalli looked at her lawn and tried not to be mad.

More emo than normal, Cloud jumped to the lawn

And grumbled and shouted and made Yazoo yawn.

"Now, Kadaj! now, Yazoo! now, Loz... yes, you too!

I've waited all evening for something to do!

We'll fight on the porch and we'll fight on the wall!"

"Not in the garden!" they heard Kalli call.

With wing spread and smiling did Sephiroth fly

To watch over his boyfriend valiantly try

At seducing said bishies from bikes to bedroom.

We all watched in silence, as still as a tomb.

And then, barely blinking, they were on the roof

knocking shingles and moss loose with each sexy move.

Kalli cried to herself at repairs to be done

Though she knew in her heart it was only good fun

Dressed all in black leather, from shoulder to toe

Cloud lured the clones downward to garden below

"No, not the garden!" Kalli screamed to their backs

Knowing her pansies wouldn't handle attack.

Their eyes - how they sparkled, glowing so bright

A contrast to swords flashing in the night

And Sephiroth watched from the spire until

In the nippy and blustery late April chill

He jumped into the throng and he opened his coat

And yelled to them all the following quote:

"On your knees, you four bastards, and listen quite well

it's late and you're noisy and giving us hell."

Sprink looked quick to Kalli who looked back to the elf

Who looked to the doujinshi and BL and fanfiction shelf

Then back to the lawn where we all saw Cloud kneel

and undo the buckles of Seph's belt by feel.

They spoke not a word, but went straight to business

Three clones joining in, in states of undress

And watching they smirked, to see who'd come out on top

While snapping pics and vids until they did stop...

Then once more dressed, the boys glanced up to them all

And sheepishly grinned, trying quickly to stall -

But Kalli exclaimed the boys' true evening fate:

"On your knees, you damned bastards, you're seven months late!"


End file.
